Breath Striken

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The wind blows and your hair rises...just a bit. That is when I see your eyes at the exact moment the sun reflects and cradles them. You, at this fine moment, force air from my lungs and butterflies to dance in the pit of my stomach.

My heart beats like an eager drummer boy trying to achieve his position in his band. I am consumed and lulled by all that is you.

I need not speak and you need not worry, I will run up to you and embrace you even if you don't notice me.

I can feel the earth move under my feet and I am locked on this moment of a euphoric scene.

Each movement you make sends me and I feel the wave of allurement over throw my senses. I know this moment in time is one that I will cherish forever.

All too soon, the clouds move in and the sun hides it's smiling face. I search for the woman that entranced my soul and beckoned my love. Just in that instant she was gone. I roamed like a nomad searching for her grace. Only to stumble on the nectar of her true vein.


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Spellbound

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On a bleak night I hear her calling, a soft and whimsical song

All along beyond my dream I see the young girl chanting

It’s mellow and haunting sound was all I could remember

When I was dragged back to reality, to my bed on the cold night of December

I listened for her the next night and then she came

In my bed she lay and swore she would remain the same

I looked at her and dreamed furthermore until I could not bear it

My eyes grew watery and then I saw, her auburn hair beneath my sheets was nowhere to be seen

Then in the distance I heard her song, so faint and mild and sweet like a child

I followed through the mist of my seemingly never ending dream but never laid my eyes on her

I just heard her song every night, ever so quietly luring me

To set her free, or me, I do not know

Because when I awake I have no proof to show

Of the girl who was once my own, coming back to show me how she would have grown

The sound is so distant now but it is always there and when I close my eyes I see her lonely eyes stare

Wishing my life away so that I can stay

But I hold on, even on this weary night, I breathe and continue to breathe

I stopped following and now I just listen to the sweet song and not before long, the sound was gone

I said goodbye to her and wished her well as now I have forced myself to exit her hopeful spell

By Trisha Hilton

Afraid of Fear

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Afraid of Fear

There is that tickling feeling, the eerie spinning of butterflies fluttering aimless in the pit of my stomach. My hands to the touch are clammy and beads of pearls leak from my flesh and run like tears down my skin.

The darting race of my heartbeat sending a rush of drugs through my veins. Adrenaline courses and turns my thoughts into a spiraling chaotic frenzy. My hands feverishly cling to anything, something in reach. I can’t comprehend what is going on. I don’t understand why I can’t grasp a sense of reality. The images in front of me become hazy and foggy. I can’t…

…I can’t breathe. My lungs are not drawing and releasing air. My legs become shaky and the quivering shutters ricochet throughout my body.

Silence overcomes me, I can’t hear anything but a blinding pinging loud screech. There is nothing. My chest doesn’t rise and fall and death seems to have replaced the heartbeat that once pounded feverishly against my chest.

My feet are cement boots at the bottom of the ocean, the current doesn’t help me escape the over flow of relentless pain. I can’t escape and I can’t comprehend to help myself.

No one there to save me from myself…I am the all-consuming evil of my own fear.

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Huntsmen

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Huntsmen

The freezing cold night sweeps by in the heat of the summer. I can feel the chill and the lingering taste of hunger. I've seen seasons change, but not like this. The thunderous sounds of the bold first kiss rumbles through time like something I missed. I could have read it wrong or heard it unclear, but none of this shows passion, it’s genuinely clear. The sweat no longer trickles down my backside but my mouth is parched from playing on the wayside. The rumors of love seems to have diminished and ignited into flames of harsh tongue. He wonders why my feelings are numb.

My lengthy dangling arms swing to embrace my pulled up legs. The pounding feeling beating against my chest never gives rest. I might have felt wetness trickle down my cheek but it was just the wind brushing against me. My head hangs low touching my knees and I can hear that same wind whispering to me.

The sound of angels singing in through the fog and I see more clear with all the haziness around. I pull myself up and I rise to my feet. I let that wind pull and tug at me. I want to fight but my will isn’t strong anymore. The damn thing has more knife wounds then a murderous hell hound.

His flesh temptations has yanked at my soul, has killed my spirit and swept me into the under tow. The visions he cherishes has put out my fire, has sprayed my skin with acid and disfigured my armor. He’s a huntsmen and set on a prowl. Clearly to attain his beauties and power.

So when is enough, enough for him? He’s already torn and marked my skin. The scars are not visible but so clear to me. That is why I am walking towards where the wind blows me. When I am not longer in sight and he can’t grasp me. That is when my shadow will be his only memory. The hail storm beating on his chest tormenting him to insane. While I take my seat with those who know I remain.

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Mirror

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I can't win; I am always feeling this underlying self loathing. I don't put it on myself yet I let people put it on me. I let them twist my thoughts and penetrate my mind. That is my weakness. I let them get under my skin. They crawl around in there, poison my soul, ruin my confidence. I let their opinions guide me when really I should look at myself and realise they are destroying me to better themselves. They are breaking me down to avoid their own breakdown. They tell me what they think I don't want to hear about myself when really they are reeling off all that they hate about themselves and envy about me. I let them judge me when really the only judgment that counts is God and my own. My weakness is not enviable, it is negotiable with my mind and my mind needs to be strong but I am persuaded by them to believe these attacks. An attack is the only way to describe it. Why would you - out of nowhere- decide to list a person's negative attributes and bully them into a state of self loathing? Why would you - if you are a person with an apparently good nature - allow yourself to be a bully? It can only be because you can’t bare the reflection in the mirror every morning, looking back and telling you that you're not good enough. I tell myself this now, every time the words are uttered, that I am strong, I am good and I am not going to stoop to any kind of level that you reside on. I refuse to be you and I know this is why you hate me, because I will never be you and more importantly you will NEVER be me.

Confusion

Pain a feeling ever so familiar Emotions I wear on my sleeve. I feel nothing walk tall Ice pumping through my vein's. Looking for some kindred spirit Blinded by the view of my reflection No visibility through my imperfections. Stroll alone I don't need nobody Not a soul I need I need only me. Self destructive ways masked under the idea of protective sacrifice. Do anything for those close to me Even lay my life down for those I'm close to. Soak my aches in a bottle tired of fighting Exhale my issues in the smoke. Pour a cup when I want to celebrate the day Burn 1 twice a day but I don't need it. Love her cause she deserves it Or do I Love her cause I need it. Love them so much there's no way I could ever love just 1 But I treat them all like queens. A slave to my desires a servant of my vices I do what I want I mind no consequences. Self destruction masked under the guise of self love.

Sure Thing

I have finally erased you, or so I feel. My heart is no longer yours to steal. Reading over the letters that I thought were written in truth have made me realise how low you would stoop. The lesson has been learnt and my feelings along with the letters have been burned. Goodbye former memories and a brief crush, the word I use because to call it anything else would be too much. I need to accept it was nothing. It wasn't a sure thing.

Signed Patricia Hilton