Breath Striken

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The wind blows and your hair rises...just a bit. That is when I see your eyes at the exact moment the sun reflects and cradles them. You, at this fine moment, force air from my lungs and butterflies to dance in the pit of my stomach.

My heart beats like an eager drummer boy trying to achieve his position in his band. I am consumed and lulled by all that is you.

I need not speak and you need not worry, I will run up to you and embrace you even if you don't notice me.

I can feel the earth move under my feet and I am locked on this moment of a euphoric scene.

Each movement you make sends me and I feel the wave of allurement over throw my senses. I know this moment in time is one that I will cherish forever.

All too soon, the clouds move in and the sun hides it's smiling face. I search for the woman that entranced my soul and beckoned my love. Just in that instant she was gone. I roamed like a nomad searching for her grace. Only to stumble on the nectar of her true vein.


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Spellbound

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On a bleak night I hear her calling, a soft and whimsical song

All along beyond my dream I see the young girl chanting

It’s mellow and haunting sound was all I could remember

When I was dragged back to reality, to my bed on the cold night of December

I listened for her the next night and then she came

In my bed she lay and swore she would remain the same

I looked at her and dreamed furthermore until I could not bear it

My eyes grew watery and then I saw, her auburn hair beneath my sheets was nowhere to be seen

Then in the distance I heard her song, so faint and mild and sweet like a child

I followed through the mist of my seemingly never ending dream but never laid my eyes on her

I just heard her song every night, ever so quietly luring me

To set her free, or me, I do not know

Because when I awake I have no proof to show

Of the girl who was once my own, coming back to show me how she would have grown

The sound is so distant now but it is always there and when I close my eyes I see her lonely eyes stare

Wishing my life away so that I can stay

But I hold on, even on this weary night, I breathe and continue to breathe

I stopped following and now I just listen to the sweet song and not before long, the sound was gone

I said goodbye to her and wished her well as now I have forced myself to exit her hopeful spell

By Trisha Hilton

Afraid of Fear

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Afraid of Fear

There is that tickling feeling, the eerie spinning of butterflies fluttering aimless in the pit of my stomach. My hands to the touch are clammy and beads of pearls leak from my flesh and run like tears down my skin.

The darting race of my heartbeat sending a rush of drugs through my veins. Adrenaline courses and turns my thoughts into a spiraling chaotic frenzy. My hands feverishly cling to anything, something in reach. I can’t comprehend what is going on. I don’t understand why I can’t grasp a sense of reality. The images in front of me become hazy and foggy. I can’t…

…I can’t breathe. My lungs are not drawing and releasing air. My legs become shaky and the quivering shutters ricochet throughout my body.

Silence overcomes me, I can’t hear anything but a blinding pinging loud screech. There is nothing. My chest doesn’t rise and fall and death seems to have replaced the heartbeat that once pounded feverishly against my chest.

My feet are cement boots at the bottom of the ocean, the current doesn’t help me escape the over flow of relentless pain. I can’t escape and I can’t comprehend to help myself.

No one there to save me from myself…I am the all-consuming evil of my own fear.

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Huntsmen

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Huntsmen

The freezing cold night sweeps by in the heat of the summer. I can feel the chill and the lingering taste of hunger. I've seen seasons change, but not like this. The thunderous sounds of the bold first kiss rumbles through time like something I missed. I could have read it wrong or heard it unclear, but none of this shows passion, it’s genuinely clear. The sweat no longer trickles down my backside but my mouth is parched from playing on the wayside. The rumors of love seems to have diminished and ignited into flames of harsh tongue. He wonders why my feelings are numb.

My lengthy dangling arms swing to embrace my pulled up legs. The pounding feeling beating against my chest never gives rest. I might have felt wetness trickle down my cheek but it was just the wind brushing against me. My head hangs low touching my knees and I can hear that same wind whispering to me.

The sound of angels singing in through the fog and I see more clear with all the haziness around. I pull myself up and I rise to my feet. I let that wind pull and tug at me. I want to fight but my will isn’t strong anymore. The damn thing has more knife wounds then a murderous hell hound.

His flesh temptations has yanked at my soul, has killed my spirit and swept me into the under tow. The visions he cherishes has put out my fire, has sprayed my skin with acid and disfigured my armor. He’s a huntsmen and set on a prowl. Clearly to attain his beauties and power.

So when is enough, enough for him? He’s already torn and marked my skin. The scars are not visible but so clear to me. That is why I am walking towards where the wind blows me. When I am not longer in sight and he can’t grasp me. That is when my shadow will be his only memory. The hail storm beating on his chest tormenting him to insane. While I take my seat with those who know I remain.

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Mirror

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I can't win; I am always feeling this underlying self loathing. I don't put it on myself yet I let people put it on me. I let them twist my thoughts and penetrate my mind. That is my weakness. I let them get under my skin. They crawl around in there, poison my soul, ruin my confidence. I let their opinions guide me when really I should look at myself and realise they are destroying me to better themselves. They are breaking me down to avoid their own breakdown. They tell me what they think I don't want to hear about myself when really they are reeling off all that they hate about themselves and envy about me. I let them judge me when really the only judgment that counts is God and my own. My weakness is not enviable, it is negotiable with my mind and my mind needs to be strong but I am persuaded by them to believe these attacks. An attack is the only way to describe it. Why would you - out of nowhere- decide to list a person's negative attributes and bully them into a state of self loathing? Why would you - if you are a person with an apparently good nature - allow yourself to be a bully? It can only be because you can’t bare the reflection in the mirror every morning, looking back and telling you that you're not good enough. I tell myself this now, every time the words are uttered, that I am strong, I am good and I am not going to stoop to any kind of level that you reside on. I refuse to be you and I know this is why you hate me, because I will never be you and more importantly you will NEVER be me.

Confusion

Pain a feeling ever so familiar Emotions I wear on my sleeve. I feel nothing walk tall Ice pumping through my vein's. Looking for some kindred spirit Blinded by the view of my reflection No visibility through my imperfections. Stroll alone I don't need nobody Not a soul I need I need only me. Self destructive ways masked under the idea of protective sacrifice. Do anything for those close to me Even lay my life down for those I'm close to. Soak my aches in a bottle tired of fighting Exhale my issues in the smoke. Pour a cup when I want to celebrate the day Burn 1 twice a day but I don't need it. Love her cause she deserves it Or do I Love her cause I need it. Love them so much there's no way I could ever love just 1 But I treat them all like queens. A slave to my desires a servant of my vices I do what I want I mind no consequences. Self destruction masked under the guise of self love.

Sure Thing

I have finally erased you, or so I feel. My heart is no longer yours to steal. Reading over the letters that I thought were written in truth have made me realise how low you would stoop. The lesson has been learnt and my feelings along with the letters have been burned. Goodbye former memories and a brief crush, the word I use because to call it anything else would be too much. I need to accept it was nothing. It wasn't a sure thing.

Signed Patricia Hilton

The Lie





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 So many words were written about you

All about love but now they are through

Knowing you deceived me again and again

Has caused nothing but gut-wrenching pain

I think I actually hate you, I feel nothing but hate

You make me physically sick and have left me in a turmoil state

Knowing I could be so stupid and gullible

I should have read on your face that you were nothing but trouble

I’m laughing at myself, laughing at my stupidity

Laughing at that dumb girl who has now seen the reality

If I saw you I don’t know if rage would overtake me

Or I would walk away and never let you see

The dried up tears that stain my face

And the heart left with a massive empty space

I can do nothing but forget

And I have nothing but regrets

Images of you and your fake words spoken in a snakes tongue

Preying on the innocence of the frivolous and young

I hope you read this with your lying eyes

I hope the hatred reads with a big surprise

Knowing your secret is out and your jig is up

But I know this poem will never make you stop

Because you are scum and you always will be

But luckily I will benefit and be set free

From the pain of loving you and being devoted

However all of us have voted

My heart, soul, mind and common sense

Has decided that the love wasn’t well spent

On a fucking loser like you but at least I have learnt

That a real woman has their love earned

By a kind, caring and innocent soul just like mine

You wanted to break that heart and that is just fine

I will move on but don’t be fooled as I will never look back

Because I fear to see the knife still sticking out and all the little cracks

Left behind from being betrayed but they will soon shrivel and die

Just as my love did the moment I heard the lie

Signed

Patricia Hilton

Then and Now

I’ll always be the one that gave you wrinkles

And that thought makes my skin crawl

Knowing I was the one to cause you pain

All for my unnecessary gain

I will never know how much I disappointed you           

Because you never let those emotions seep through

You put on a brave face and pardoned me

You never let me see

The hurt that I caused repeatedly

I can never take back any of my actions, I can only repent

But you will never get all those hours you spent

Worrying about your child in those rebellious years

As your face hoards them, deep rooted from all the fears

Signed

Patricia Hilton

Extract:

It reads on your face, from here to the far ends of space. I can read every little emotion and lack of respect and that can only have a negative effect. Give me space and let me BREATHE, let me be the person you obviously don’t want me to be.

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Lyrically Unheard

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Lyrical warfare, assassination of the mentally corrupt
Crush party-goers, I can't get enough
Slaughter insight of the page book genius
No credit for they deem me a defective delinquent

I write, you can't hear me verbalize
Open your eyes, I'm quite the surprise
My words will tear out your spine
Or make you feel heaven through your mind

None of this is to be said just to intimidate
I don't mind being read cause your world lacks enervate
However, I'm often looked at as the underdog
Most of them got it all wrong
With my words, I'll always stand strong

For those who can't see, just grab a book
Create a world with just one look
Indulge in the mid of some other
The words will bring you to a new place
One for you to embrace
The haunting of the soul can embark on journeys
Open a book and find fantasy
Explore with your imagination
You never know until you take the time to see

                                                           Be Good To Me - Sia
                                                     Music Choice By: Leenah Love
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The Price Of War

Pray for peace in the midst of war The end seems so far away Hate lays thick like night fog We fight for the land for the hogs For the oil for the gold Humanity lost with the innocence Burning the blood candle at both endS Ones win is another's end Sin justified in the name of peace and order Creating chaos to prevent anarchy Pledge allegiance to the monarchy The weight of hypocrisy lies heavy on those at the bottom of the hierarchy Blood for profit there's no fair exchange The pawns pay the price of war Protect the dream at all costs Cut the check mate Scars of the soul inflicted with every trigger pull Spirit lost being led into the darkness By those we follow with hollow caves behind their gaze No remorse resides in those who craft the agenda Push for control peddling religion The reason behind it all In the names of our deities we slaughter whom who opposes Bomb in the name of Allah, murder in the name of Jesus amen Sacrifice the men baptized in fire Clutching the cold steel Break their minds and impose your will Will it ever end or is it our nature Doomed to repeat history forever Could we be fated to extinction By machines of our creation

The Last Stop



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In the stuffy heat I notice her, her eyes burning into me

I breathe in the filthy air and try to ignore but she draws me in

The longer she stares, the more I wonder

Do I know this sad girl sitting on the floor, have I wronged her?

She frightens me to a slight degree

The curiosity is eating at me

Why is she so intent on grabbing my attention?

I give her a fleeting look

She remains stern and her eyes are locked

I realise I am all alone on this carriage with the sad lost girl

Taunting me with her glare

Her stop approaches, it seems

As she gathers up her belongings

I wait for the inevitable confrontation that never came

And a part of me is disappointed as the mystery is not explained

She floats past me but never releases her eerie grip

She whispers a line that will haunt me forever

“I was never here’’

As I wait for my stop I feel her eyes on me

Burning with torment and anguish from afar

A shudder engulfs me and a sinister pang of guilt arises

A past memory envelops me of distant nightmares

Now I remember, now I see

This is the girl who haunts me, every night just past three

The girl on the floor is the one who knocks on my door

And tells me she loves me

She stands in the shadows of my subconscious

And never lets me sleep

How could I forget the one action I regret?

Letting this poor girl go in the darkness that night

Now I am terrified and every sound gives me a fright

And I see her in every dream

Now as I sit alone on the platform I can see

That these nightmares are now a reality

I see her harrowing face in the mist

Blowing me her last ever kiss

Signed

Patricia Hilton

My substance

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The brisk air against my hot flesh is refreshing
My mind spinning in every direction
It's like I'm high but I didn't take anything
The simple pleasure rests in your daily billet-doux

My soul has craved for yours
Now we devour in each others umbra
I met you in a previous lifetime
I remember your divine
Just like the it's happening now
The curse of the flesh that claws at your spine

Will you curb your appetite with them
And curl up with the eternal sin
Or will your rest your head in the known realm of heart's everlasting euphoric bond?

Come to me and rest your weary head
I will stand beside you even during code red
I am more than willing to compromise
But I will not do is help your demise

Plan accordingly
Your heart is sacred
Love me endlessly
I'm certainly worth it

I don't want to wait another lifetime for your heart
Just surrender all that you are
Join me in this journey of Ecstasy



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For You, My Enemy

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''Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much''
- Oscar Wilde

Have you ever disliked someone so much

That you can't even stand to hear their name uttered

You recoil hearing the familiar sound of their voice

You would rather cut out your eyes then allow them to feast upon this entity

Knowing a secret about them burns a hole in your consciousness

As you are dying to let it out

You are disgusted by their very existence

So why not?

Why not let this secret out rather than fester in your mind

Karma

Good karma comes from doing good things

And releasing this would be nothing but bad karma

And you hate unnecessary hype and drama

Justice could be served

But you know they must be haunted already

Haunted by the thought that people could find out

That people could judge

Just as they themselves judge you frequently for nothing so much as this

Little do they know

That their so called 'friends' do not know how to keep quiet

Because when you are a nasty soul

You attract nasty gossips, naturally

So I will keep the secret for you, my enemy

As I know your own conscience will eat at you

And your pathetic friends will betray you

It's funny how it is your enemy who is your only secret-keeper

Ironic, isn't it?

Signed

Patricia Hilton

                               

                                      

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In The Present

Spend my nights in the stars, spend my days in the wind Live my life on a cloud Enjoying my time in space High off life the air is intoxicating Catch me faded off the essence Flowing freely through this highway we call life Few thoughts wasted on tomorrow Making sure tonight is sweet Taste the nectar of pleasure Fulfilling my desires putting fire to the pain In the end they become one in the same They burn out everything comes to an end Synonymous life cycle whether good or bad I carry no delusions of forever Cause it changing to temporary is the only constant. Conscious effort to live for the moment So I bask in every second dive head first in every minute Cause what is given can be taken away Pledge allegiance to the universal law What you give you receive What you put out you attract So I watch my reactions and stay mindful of my movements

Progress with force silent steps making loud statements Living in the present

Exposed

"We humans fear the beast within the wolf because we do not understand the beast within ourselves" -Gerald Hausman

Sometimes creativity is a lost cause
Because it allows people to judge you and see your flaws
It enables them to make an assumption
It gives them reason to doubt your every function

You write the words and put pen to paper
Thinking about the consequences later
You never think people will read it and take it on board
You don’t realise those thoughts, in their head will hoard

If you have admitted a weakness
Or even exploited a forbidden kiss
These words are forever imprinted in their minds
Assuming they are your illusive finds

People judge and never see the good
They never let their barriers down like they should
You throw caution to the wind and allow your very essence to be exposed
While they stay stifled by the trapped life they chose

You listen to your soul and write with your heart
You record the ecstasy along with the moments when your world falls apart
They mean nothing if they cannot accept your wrongs
They shouldn’t exist in your realm if they do not appreciate your song

Signed

Patricia Hilton

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Note: This will be my last post for a few weeks so I hope you enjoy and check out my blog and page to see some of my other links while I am absent!

Reason To Sin

Lies danced off her tongue Moonlight creeping through the blinds Words telling tales that sound true Language selling dreams you'd be a fool to buy Promises that it's yours Rhythmic moans making music of sinful movements Indulging in the flesh with these meaningless interactions Attempting to fill voids left by others in past days Pursuing pleasure in the present With No thoughts towards a future No remnants of love no trace of emotion Devoted only to our desires Cold hearts playing with fire under the stars A reaction from chemistry Interpersonal combustion A dark beautiful symmetry between the 2 combatants Leaving love scars over the canvas Letting nature run it's course Giving into primal instincts Left the thinking at the door Playing games in protection of the heart As the game ends sunlight creeping in Satisfaction now reached and receding The day still starts with the pain from last evening No running from what you carry inside

Quarter-Life Crisis

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Close to three decades of blood, sweat and tears of joy

Tears of pain and tears of laughter

Memories of ‘back in the day’, weighed down by an overwhelming sense of underachievement

This, is my quarter life crisis

Still young at heart and young in the face as the doors of opportunity appear to slam shut, hit me in the arse and lock themselves behind me

“If I knew then what I know now”, as I write this apology to my 15 year old self

Filled with regrets, replaying episodes of the past 26 years I take stock of my assets

My health, my family, my friends

Money can’t buy me love and I will repay them all with my successes

So as I write this promise to myself in 5 – 10 years I am consoled by the thought that “Life begins at 40”

That was my quarter life crisis

By George Bradley

@MrGeorgeonline

My friend has submitted to me his first poem so I thought I would share it with you all, enjoy!

Rectify Me

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The sound of twigs breaking under my feet
Ressounds in my being like bones breaking
My heart, it bleeds black from his curse
My stride is just that of a zombie's lurk
It hasn't taken from the time of hurt

My body hangs lifeless in a mute position
What I had to do to save you ultimately went against my
Better intution
I can still hear the words billowing into the air
I know that you meant them that is why they won't disappear

On the outside, I look like a beauty Queen
On the inside my twins rumble like boxing feinds
I wonder if they heard you too
How I am not the one and I prepared myself to lose

You rectify the broken of yesterdays harsh embrace
Just to wake up today and send me back to that cold place
So where do I stand?

Somewhere between chaos and no man's land

Forever is a long time when doubt courses through your viens


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Poor Man's Game

Forever in my mind
You seem to be the kind
That gets everything you could want
While I sit here putting up a front

I'm fed up with being unlucky
Why do you seem to hold the key?
I need to find a way to change
I'm fed up with this poor mans game

I don't know how you do it
While I have to put up with this shit
I try my hardest but it's never enough
I always have to hold back tears and be tough

Life comes easy to some
But sometimes you should take a look at your chum
Who is broke and at the end of their tether
Waiting and praying for things to get better

They constantly work while opportunities are thrown your way
They graft harder than ever but just want it all to go away
They still love you with no jealousy involved
They just need some TLC to calm their aching soul

Signed

Patricia Hilton

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