Confusion

Pain a feeling ever so familiar Emotions I wear on my sleeve. I feel nothing walk tall Ice pumping through my vein's. Looking for some kindred spirit Blinded by the view of my reflection No visibility through my imperfections. Stroll alone I don't need nobody Not a soul I need I need only me. Self destructive ways masked under the idea of protective sacrifice. Do anything for those close to me Even lay my life down for those I'm close to. Soak my aches in a bottle tired of fighting Exhale my issues in the smoke. Pour a cup when I want to celebrate the day Burn 1 twice a day but I don't need it. Love her cause she deserves it Or do I Love her cause I need it. Love them so much there's no way I could ever love just 1 But I treat them all like queens. A slave to my desires a servant of my vices I do what I want I mind no consequences. Self destruction masked under the guise of self love.

Sure Thing

I have finally erased you, or so I feel. My heart is no longer yours to steal. Reading over the letters that I thought were written in truth have made me realise how low you would stoop. The lesson has been learnt and my feelings along with the letters have been burned. Goodbye former memories and a brief crush, the word I use because to call it anything else would be too much. I need to accept it was nothing. It wasn't a sure thing.

Signed Patricia Hilton

The Lie





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 So many words were written about you

All about love but now they are through

Knowing you deceived me again and again

Has caused nothing but gut-wrenching pain

I think I actually hate you, I feel nothing but hate

You make me physically sick and have left me in a turmoil state

Knowing I could be so stupid and gullible

I should have read on your face that you were nothing but trouble

I’m laughing at myself, laughing at my stupidity

Laughing at that dumb girl who has now seen the reality

If I saw you I don’t know if rage would overtake me

Or I would walk away and never let you see

The dried up tears that stain my face

And the heart left with a massive empty space

I can do nothing but forget

And I have nothing but regrets

Images of you and your fake words spoken in a snakes tongue

Preying on the innocence of the frivolous and young

I hope you read this with your lying eyes

I hope the hatred reads with a big surprise

Knowing your secret is out and your jig is up

But I know this poem will never make you stop

Because you are scum and you always will be

But luckily I will benefit and be set free

From the pain of loving you and being devoted

However all of us have voted

My heart, soul, mind and common sense

Has decided that the love wasn’t well spent

On a fucking loser like you but at least I have learnt

That a real woman has their love earned

By a kind, caring and innocent soul just like mine

You wanted to break that heart and that is just fine

I will move on but don’t be fooled as I will never look back

Because I fear to see the knife still sticking out and all the little cracks

Left behind from being betrayed but they will soon shrivel and die

Just as my love did the moment I heard the lie

Signed

Patricia Hilton

Then and Now

I’ll always be the one that gave you wrinkles

And that thought makes my skin crawl

Knowing I was the one to cause you pain

All for my unnecessary gain

I will never know how much I disappointed you           

Because you never let those emotions seep through

You put on a brave face and pardoned me

You never let me see

The hurt that I caused repeatedly

I can never take back any of my actions, I can only repent

But you will never get all those hours you spent

Worrying about your child in those rebellious years

As your face hoards them, deep rooted from all the fears

Signed

Patricia Hilton

Extract:

It reads on your face, from here to the far ends of space. I can read every little emotion and lack of respect and that can only have a negative effect. Give me space and let me BREATHE, let me be the person you obviously don’t want me to be.

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Lyrically Unheard

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Lyrical warfare, assassination of the mentally corrupt
Crush party-goers, I can't get enough
Slaughter insight of the page book genius
No credit for they deem me a defective delinquent

I write, you can't hear me verbalize
Open your eyes, I'm quite the surprise
My words will tear out your spine
Or make you feel heaven through your mind

None of this is to be said just to intimidate
I don't mind being read cause your world lacks enervate
However, I'm often looked at as the underdog
Most of them got it all wrong
With my words, I'll always stand strong

For those who can't see, just grab a book
Create a world with just one look
Indulge in the mid of some other
The words will bring you to a new place
One for you to embrace
The haunting of the soul can embark on journeys
Open a book and find fantasy
Explore with your imagination
You never know until you take the time to see

                                                           Be Good To Me - Sia
                                                     Music Choice By: Leenah Love
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The Price Of War

Pray for peace in the midst of war The end seems so far away Hate lays thick like night fog We fight for the land for the hogs For the oil for the gold Humanity lost with the innocence Burning the blood candle at both endS Ones win is another's end Sin justified in the name of peace and order Creating chaos to prevent anarchy Pledge allegiance to the monarchy The weight of hypocrisy lies heavy on those at the bottom of the hierarchy Blood for profit there's no fair exchange The pawns pay the price of war Protect the dream at all costs Cut the check mate Scars of the soul inflicted with every trigger pull Spirit lost being led into the darkness By those we follow with hollow caves behind their gaze No remorse resides in those who craft the agenda Push for control peddling religion The reason behind it all In the names of our deities we slaughter whom who opposes Bomb in the name of Allah, murder in the name of Jesus amen Sacrifice the men baptized in fire Clutching the cold steel Break their minds and impose your will Will it ever end or is it our nature Doomed to repeat history forever Could we be fated to extinction By machines of our creation

The Last Stop



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In the stuffy heat I notice her, her eyes burning into me

I breathe in the filthy air and try to ignore but she draws me in

The longer she stares, the more I wonder

Do I know this sad girl sitting on the floor, have I wronged her?

She frightens me to a slight degree

The curiosity is eating at me

Why is she so intent on grabbing my attention?

I give her a fleeting look

She remains stern and her eyes are locked

I realise I am all alone on this carriage with the sad lost girl

Taunting me with her glare

Her stop approaches, it seems

As she gathers up her belongings

I wait for the inevitable confrontation that never came

And a part of me is disappointed as the mystery is not explained

She floats past me but never releases her eerie grip

She whispers a line that will haunt me forever

“I was never here’’

As I wait for my stop I feel her eyes on me

Burning with torment and anguish from afar

A shudder engulfs me and a sinister pang of guilt arises

A past memory envelops me of distant nightmares

Now I remember, now I see

This is the girl who haunts me, every night just past three

The girl on the floor is the one who knocks on my door

And tells me she loves me

She stands in the shadows of my subconscious

And never lets me sleep

How could I forget the one action I regret?

Letting this poor girl go in the darkness that night

Now I am terrified and every sound gives me a fright

And I see her in every dream

Now as I sit alone on the platform I can see

That these nightmares are now a reality

I see her harrowing face in the mist

Blowing me her last ever kiss

Signed

Patricia Hilton