Sure Thing

I have finally erased you, or so I feel. My heart is no longer yours to steal. Reading over the letters that I thought were written in truth have made me realise how low you would stoop. The lesson has been learnt and my feelings along with the letters have been burned. Goodbye former memories and a brief crush, the word I use because to call it anything else would be too much. I need to accept it was nothing. It wasn't a sure thing.

Signed Patricia Hilton

The Lie





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 So many words were written about you

All about love but now they are through

Knowing you deceived me again and again

Has caused nothing but gut-wrenching pain

I think I actually hate you, I feel nothing but hate

You make me physically sick and have left me in a turmoil state

Knowing I could be so stupid and gullible

I should have read on your face that you were nothing but trouble

I’m laughing at myself, laughing at my stupidity

Laughing at that dumb girl who has now seen the reality

If I saw you I don’t know if rage would overtake me

Or I would walk away and never let you see

The dried up tears that stain my face

And the heart left with a massive empty space

I can do nothing but forget

And I have nothing but regrets

Images of you and your fake words spoken in a snakes tongue

Preying on the innocence of the frivolous and young

I hope you read this with your lying eyes

I hope the hatred reads with a big surprise

Knowing your secret is out and your jig is up

But I know this poem will never make you stop

Because you are scum and you always will be

But luckily I will benefit and be set free

From the pain of loving you and being devoted

However all of us have voted

My heart, soul, mind and common sense

Has decided that the love wasn’t well spent

On a fucking loser like you but at least I have learnt

That a real woman has their love earned

By a kind, caring and innocent soul just like mine

You wanted to break that heart and that is just fine

I will move on but don’t be fooled as I will never look back

Because I fear to see the knife still sticking out and all the little cracks

Left behind from being betrayed but they will soon shrivel and die

Just as my love did the moment I heard the lie

Signed

Patricia Hilton

The Last Stop



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In the stuffy heat I notice her, her eyes burning into me

I breathe in the filthy air and try to ignore but she draws me in

The longer she stares, the more I wonder

Do I know this sad girl sitting on the floor, have I wronged her?

She frightens me to a slight degree

The curiosity is eating at me

Why is she so intent on grabbing my attention?

I give her a fleeting look

She remains stern and her eyes are locked

I realise I am all alone on this carriage with the sad lost girl

Taunting me with her glare

Her stop approaches, it seems

As she gathers up her belongings

I wait for the inevitable confrontation that never came

And a part of me is disappointed as the mystery is not explained

She floats past me but never releases her eerie grip

She whispers a line that will haunt me forever

“I was never here’’

As I wait for my stop I feel her eyes on me

Burning with torment and anguish from afar

A shudder engulfs me and a sinister pang of guilt arises

A past memory envelops me of distant nightmares

Now I remember, now I see

This is the girl who haunts me, every night just past three

The girl on the floor is the one who knocks on my door

And tells me she loves me

She stands in the shadows of my subconscious

And never lets me sleep

How could I forget the one action I regret?

Letting this poor girl go in the darkness that night

Now I am terrified and every sound gives me a fright

And I see her in every dream

Now as I sit alone on the platform I can see

That these nightmares are now a reality

I see her harrowing face in the mist

Blowing me her last ever kiss

Signed

Patricia Hilton

For You, My Enemy

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''Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much''
- Oscar Wilde

Have you ever disliked someone so much

That you can't even stand to hear their name uttered

You recoil hearing the familiar sound of their voice

You would rather cut out your eyes then allow them to feast upon this entity

Knowing a secret about them burns a hole in your consciousness

As you are dying to let it out

You are disgusted by their very existence

So why not?

Why not let this secret out rather than fester in your mind

Karma

Good karma comes from doing good things

And releasing this would be nothing but bad karma

And you hate unnecessary hype and drama

Justice could be served

But you know they must be haunted already

Haunted by the thought that people could find out

That people could judge

Just as they themselves judge you frequently for nothing so much as this

Little do they know

That their so called 'friends' do not know how to keep quiet

Because when you are a nasty soul

You attract nasty gossips, naturally

So I will keep the secret for you, my enemy

As I know your own conscience will eat at you

And your pathetic friends will betray you

It's funny how it is your enemy who is your only secret-keeper

Ironic, isn't it?

Signed

Patricia Hilton

                               

                                      

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Rectify Me

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The sound of twigs breaking under my feet
Ressounds in my being like bones breaking
My heart, it bleeds black from his curse
My stride is just that of a zombie's lurk
It hasn't taken from the time of hurt

My body hangs lifeless in a mute position
What I had to do to save you ultimately went against my
Better intution
I can still hear the words billowing into the air
I know that you meant them that is why they won't disappear

On the outside, I look like a beauty Queen
On the inside my twins rumble like boxing feinds
I wonder if they heard you too
How I am not the one and I prepared myself to lose

You rectify the broken of yesterdays harsh embrace
Just to wake up today and send me back to that cold place
So where do I stand?

Somewhere between chaos and no man's land

Forever is a long time when doubt courses through your viens


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Crazy in Love?

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Crazy in love? All I am is crazy
Because this is supposed to feel amazing
It is not supposed to be difficult and upsetting
This is what I get for betting
On a love I thought I could handle
Now my emotions are mangled
I’m more confused that ever before
As I sit here crying on my bedroom floor
Begging for God to give me a sign
To help me make a decision and alter the design
Of my future life, it’s all in my hands
To find the ‘one’, this mythical man

I don’t need this on my head
And i certainly don’t want a loser in my bed
So I guess I have to take this seriously
I just hope he hears my plea
Because all I want is to be freed
Of the burden lying on my shoulders
As right now, my soul is getting colder

Signed

Patricia Hilton

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Soul Mate?

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What do I want in a partner?

Who the hell knows

Everyday a difficult decision or choice

But never anything that grows

If I'm honest I don't know what I want

This is why I leave my options open

Then I toss aside those who will never amount

So that I can keep my weary heart hoping

I don't know what to do, I'm lost

Forever paying the single cost

Judgement is always given because I'm too soft

I never defend my behaviour and seem to let idiots cross

An empty head and an empty heart

This is what solely keeps me alert

I wish I could find this soul mate

Because slowly, it is he who I'm beginning to hate

Signed

Patricia Hilton

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Love Can Be Cruel

When does it end, when will I learn to get over you. Your still on my mind, I can't escape !! Can't cope with this  loneliness. Wishing I could turn back time, when I once held you tight. When I was your everything, and you was my love. I can even recall, our very first  touch. Our very first kiss,  I held on to it for weeks. Thought we'd last forever, but in the end it didn't matter !! You found someone new, and left me drowning in tears. You taught me a lesson, love can be cruel.. All I did wrong, was fall in love with you. Written by: Poet Shi July-5-2012

Death is Easy

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I'm frustrated and alone

While you dwindle on your throne

I'm understanding and loyal, waiting for our time

Forever wishing you were mine

I'm never selfish or nasty but I'm beginning to fade

Wondering how long it will take for 'us' to be made

Patience is a virtue but to me it's a curse

Before long I'll be waiting, lying in my Hearse

Death feels easy when I'm separated from you

Loneliness, nausea and hunger for my soul mate, to name a few

Are all the things I'm experiencing now

Everyone can see the pain in my eyes as I subtly frown

Excess attention I get from others

As I try to keep our secret covered

I'm fed up of waiting and soon I'll scream

The truth, knowing this action is nothing but cruel and mean

What else am I expected to do?

When all I do is have love and care for you

I'll do what is best and keep my troubled mouth shut

This action, for me, is like pouring salt into a bloody and gorging cut

Pain, an aching heart, a single tear has fallen

My soul is anguished and my eyes are swollen

Nothing could have prepared me for this in life

Nothing prepares me for loves strife

Tenderly your eyes look at me

Telling me that someday you will set us free

This hope stays alive in my conflicted heart

Begging that nothing will ever tear us apart

Signed


Patricia Hilton


Love, death and Shakespeare inspired me for this poem. Nothing intrigues me more than the extent a person will go to for the one they love.


Hope you enjoyed reading my poem!


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SomeBody I Used To Know

GOTYE - Somebody That I Used To Know

The passion ignited immediately
I know you felt it
But that gut feeling of everness
Left unsided

This can't be my fault
I seen the missed calls
You said she "is just a friend"
Yet she has EX attached to her title

The swarm of bees stung me
I could feel my insides swell
The proverbial "friend"
That was front for something to come

I knew you were itching for something more
That's when I open to close the door
Now you sit and think about when we were together
Do you miss your family? Or that significant other?

My intuition states that you cry for me at night
I turn a blind eye when I pass you by
You're barely someone that I used to know
I can't see you as much else, knowing that you couldn't let go

Here is your heart back
The lies seem to be circlng it
You were still clinging to the past
I was happy...do you remember this? or was that too an act?

You say you don't need my love
But that same one you couldn't disengage
Broke your heart
It was protected with me
But now you're just somebody that I used to know
There is nothing left but the cringing sound of your false promises

Dedicated to BumbleBee

She is always supporting all of my writing and getting me hip to different types of music. She is my influence and my legacy. Without her, there would be no me.

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Love Letter

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Dearest Lover,

I’m afraid I have to leave you thanks to my Mother

Her thoughts are old and conceited, I am sorry for the way you have been treated. I have to respect someone who treats me in this cruel way, if only I could forget this world and run away...

However my worries would be great and I know I’d be stressed, knowing I left behind such a mess. My conscience wouldn’t be clear, so I have to leave you behind because I fear, the consequences I would face and the conscience I would have to replace.

The sad thing is I know you are the one and I agree she is wrong but my respect has to be greater for the woman who gave me life, so our relationship is the one I have to sacrifice.

I’m sorry, my love that I have written this in a letter but I know any other form would not have been any better.

I leave you with one hope that you will find happiness, don’t let this event dent your attitude and make you miss, another opportunity that could be greater, just remember I will never hate her.

This future woman I mean that could hold your heart, as I know, with this letter I have broken it apart.

So I beg of you to look at this in a positive way and never look back on this time we shared and say, that you have regretted this past year and would never love again, as in my heart you will always be my greatest lover and friend.

Signed

Patricia Hilton

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Living an Eternity

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I feel I've lived a life shaded by a previous
Like I've lived a life far too serious
The person I am has been moulded into this
And my actions speak more than your contemporary kiss

You're new to this world while my soul has lived an eternity

I feel like you're encased in a given certainty

That this life is the only one you will ever get

While I have thoughts of distant pasts I'll never forget

You try and live your life to the fullest
While I savour ever minute, knowing that living forever can be the cruellest
Test of all, as I know I will see you again but you will be another
A new entity that could even be my brother

In different Centuries our souls have been created

They meet this time in a world that leaves us segregated

My heart longs for a stable ending

As I know my soul will be forever pending

Signed, Patricia Hilton

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Life Lost

I can smell the depths of the past

Leaking all over like a junkie smoking crack

The sweat of the night just rearing its head

I was told there weren’t any warning signs

So why is she dead?

That this is how it is

But if you really listened to hear

You would’ve heard her cries

Maybe we could see the reality through her crooked lies

She was desperate

Her mind a tangled place of insane

Her body a glistening realm

But no one knew she was at a loss with no gain

Since she didn’t wear woe on her face

There was no way to explain

That the meeting of the minds

Wasn’t really a game plan

Now her body hugs the floor

Life now invisible

No place like home

But I can’t grasp the principle

How does this happen?

Who is to blame?

A woman with promise

But no one knew her name

4 siblings

3 kids

2 loves

1 result

I loved her more than life

There is no doubt about that

I couldn’t save her though

That’s a blunt fact

13 years later, I still feel the numbness

Cookie crumb trail of the dark abyss

Her kids have kids

Does she know what she has missed?

Sadness took her life

What do you know about this?

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The Little Mermaid

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Her hair flows a fiery red

Thoughts of the land fill her head

Her beauty is intense

She has the frivolous ideas that make so much sense

She yearns for freedom and looks to the surface

This intense longing doesn't make her nervous

Happy to leave the world she has always known

Happy to leave the side of her Father's thrown

She wishes to embody that of another

She is trapped and feels there is only one way to recover

A promise she made and is destined to keep

For love, she has made the biggest leap

Signed Patricia Hilton

Note: I found this picture online (deviantart) and it struck me as it's such a beautiful twist on my favourite Disney cartoon. I thought I would write something that links to the picture as I love it so much. I love how she has converses and an adapter lead instead of the things Ariel found such as a pipe.

This is also featured on my blog - Trisha's Epic Reviews

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Raw

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This is raw emotion, this is animal temptation

This is something you enter with no trepidation

Your instincts take over, your attraction is intense

Then you sweat, your body trembles as you feel every sense

This is passion, this is incredible sex

This is something close to the emotion when you feel vex

You feel violent and angry, rough and ready

Then you slow it down, let the love flow and keep it steady

This is where you caress and hold them tight

This is where you forget every fight

You lay it down with pure affection

Then round 2 begins with no objection

Signed Patricia Hilton

Also check out @Lianne_Love sample track 'Oh My Gosh'. This is one sexy tune and matches my poem very well! Loving it! She is a great talent, check out my post about her by clicking the link - Lianne Love <3

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Strange and Beautiful

I wrote this as I sat at the Laundromat I was compelled to write. It inspired and provoked numerous thoughts that then turned in to a full fledge outburst within myself. Part of me doesn’t even know where these words came from or how they developed. I just sat there typing aimlessly into my phone as we sat side by side. I'm merely sharing impulsive writing. Enjoy ~ Rayna's Theory

 

Strange and Beautiful

There was stillness in the air. I could feel the numbness of the night. The eerie feeling didn't come from the dark but clearly shone its dullness as it sparked from the light. I can't help but feel the lingering play of deceit as it ran its creepiness up my spine. The injection of adrenaline took over my body but mainly my mind. Hesitant I move, though slow packed me a punch. That push to move was like I was frozen walking on ice. The stinging feeling rushes deep into my bones.  All these beckoning emotions told me I wasn't alone. Suddenly reminding me that I wasn't my own.  I stared blinking into the night's light. The trance subduing my fears even though my body staged freight. The channels of his ties bind me to his soul. He has become all that I know. I've willed to be free and let my wings spread and soar but his ownership of me has me planted to the floor. My gaze a sin. My world in a downward spiral, more than whipping spins. Caught in a tunnel of ache. Then I realize...just a mere moment away from him has struck pain so fierce throughout me I can’t function. He's branded my heart and now we are one. I can feel when he deceives me, when he is in his divine form and when nothing else is there but righting his wrongs. The distance between us closes as he draws near. I can feel the numbness slowly disappear. I’m not sure if I should try to escape. This might be all I want since our first proposed date. I know if I tell him how I really feel. Than this elegant pain of heart bond might disappear. See this ache is not from a wrath of his but, of mine that I refuse to say.  I want my actions to speak louder than the words held within. I vowed car bound, that I will not ever leave. I have proven my word right from our first glee. He in turn has been a humble knight to his mistress. Before him I was comfortable being lost in imcompleteness. Now I am lost when he is absent, even for a short period of time. I hunger for his presence because he is more than divine. 


What he doesn't realize is that I know his lies. So, I revoke my vow and tread lightly on this now. I look at him and I see two faces. One that urges and the other erases. Ripping me from the imagination that  was created. Finding out that I have been jaded. Now my heart beats but bleeds black. When I am gone he will realize that. 

Strange and Beautiful

Rayna's Theory

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American Concubine

American Concubine - RAYNASTHEORY

He touched me unassumingly
But pleasingly
He still believes in me
Truth be told
With words unspoken
He seen my heart
He rectified the broken
What goes around, comes around
She is MISS KARMA
A whirlwind of madness
The ultimate drama
She keeps me in my place
Ice box fever til he erases
Living in an empty space
Until I feel the secure embrace
Its a steady repeart of daily sin
No wonder I can't ever win
Lonely night of tragedy
I wonder when he'll come back to me
There's no pressure, no use
Brutal force just won't do
So I talk softly mentally
Spilling out words frantically
Hope no one sees my insanity
Cuz all is lost if it isn't subliminally
So I am invisible, until he tickles my spine
Making me feel like I am losing my mind


I hurt deep
Cut just evenly
I have no face
No name
Not being by his side
Is making me insane
She isn't enough
She isn't me
It's a craving, apparently


They say concubines are side quotes
The ones who want the hieroglyphic routes
What most don't know is that they get
The things he doesn't give to you
The smooth essence of the eternal everyday
The times spent apart leaves him in pain
The ache for his concubine will never subside

THIS IS THE LIFE OF AN AMERICAN CONCUBINE 

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