Afraid of Fear
There is that tickling feeling, the eerie spinning of
butterflies fluttering aimless in the pit of my stomach. My hands to the touch
are clammy and beads of pearls leak from my flesh and run like tears down my
skin.
The darting race of my heartbeat sending a rush of drugs
through my veins. Adrenaline courses and turns my thoughts into a spiraling chaotic
frenzy. My hands feverishly cling to anything, something in reach. I can’t
comprehend what is going on. I don’t understand why I can’t grasp a sense of
reality. The images in front of me become hazy and foggy. I can’t…
…I can’t breathe. My lungs are not drawing and releasing air.
My legs become shaky and the quivering shutters ricochet throughout my body.
Silence overcomes me, I can’t hear anything but a blinding
pinging loud screech. There is nothing. My chest doesn’t rise and fall and
death seems to have replaced the heartbeat that once pounded feverishly against
my chest.
My feet are cement boots at the bottom of the ocean, the
current doesn’t help me escape the over flow of relentless pain. I can’t escape
and I can’t comprehend to help myself.
No one there to save me from myself…I am the all-consuming evil
of my own fear.
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