Breath Striken

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The wind blows and your hair rises...just a bit. That is when I see your eyes at the exact moment the sun reflects and cradles them. You, at this fine moment, force air from my lungs and butterflies to dance in the pit of my stomach.

My heart beats like an eager drummer boy trying to achieve his position in his band. I am consumed and lulled by all that is you.

I need not speak and you need not worry, I will run up to you and embrace you even if you don't notice me.

I can feel the earth move under my feet and I am locked on this moment of a euphoric scene.

Each movement you make sends me and I feel the wave of allurement over throw my senses. I know this moment in time is one that I will cherish forever.

All too soon, the clouds move in and the sun hides it's smiling face. I search for the woman that entranced my soul and beckoned my love. Just in that instant she was gone. I roamed like a nomad searching for her grace. Only to stumble on the nectar of her true vein.


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Afraid of Fear

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Afraid of Fear

There is that tickling feeling, the eerie spinning of butterflies fluttering aimless in the pit of my stomach. My hands to the touch are clammy and beads of pearls leak from my flesh and run like tears down my skin.

The darting race of my heartbeat sending a rush of drugs through my veins. Adrenaline courses and turns my thoughts into a spiraling chaotic frenzy. My hands feverishly cling to anything, something in reach. I can’t comprehend what is going on. I don’t understand why I can’t grasp a sense of reality. The images in front of me become hazy and foggy. I can’t…

…I can’t breathe. My lungs are not drawing and releasing air. My legs become shaky and the quivering shutters ricochet throughout my body.

Silence overcomes me, I can’t hear anything but a blinding pinging loud screech. There is nothing. My chest doesn’t rise and fall and death seems to have replaced the heartbeat that once pounded feverishly against my chest.

My feet are cement boots at the bottom of the ocean, the current doesn’t help me escape the over flow of relentless pain. I can’t escape and I can’t comprehend to help myself.

No one there to save me from myself…I am the all-consuming evil of my own fear.

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Strange and Beautiful

I wrote this as I sat at the Laundromat I was compelled to write. It inspired and provoked numerous thoughts that then turned in to a full fledge outburst within myself. Part of me doesn’t even know where these words came from or how they developed. I just sat there typing aimlessly into my phone as we sat side by side. I'm merely sharing impulsive writing. Enjoy ~ Rayna's Theory

 

Strange and Beautiful

There was stillness in the air. I could feel the numbness of the night. The eerie feeling didn't come from the dark but clearly shone its dullness as it sparked from the light. I can't help but feel the lingering play of deceit as it ran its creepiness up my spine. The injection of adrenaline took over my body but mainly my mind. Hesitant I move, though slow packed me a punch. That push to move was like I was frozen walking on ice. The stinging feeling rushes deep into my bones.  All these beckoning emotions told me I wasn't alone. Suddenly reminding me that I wasn't my own.  I stared blinking into the night's light. The trance subduing my fears even though my body staged freight. The channels of his ties bind me to his soul. He has become all that I know. I've willed to be free and let my wings spread and soar but his ownership of me has me planted to the floor. My gaze a sin. My world in a downward spiral, more than whipping spins. Caught in a tunnel of ache. Then I realize...just a mere moment away from him has struck pain so fierce throughout me I can’t function. He's branded my heart and now we are one. I can feel when he deceives me, when he is in his divine form and when nothing else is there but righting his wrongs. The distance between us closes as he draws near. I can feel the numbness slowly disappear. I’m not sure if I should try to escape. This might be all I want since our first proposed date. I know if I tell him how I really feel. Than this elegant pain of heart bond might disappear. See this ache is not from a wrath of his but, of mine that I refuse to say.  I want my actions to speak louder than the words held within. I vowed car bound, that I will not ever leave. I have proven my word right from our first glee. He in turn has been a humble knight to his mistress. Before him I was comfortable being lost in imcompleteness. Now I am lost when he is absent, even for a short period of time. I hunger for his presence because he is more than divine. 


What he doesn't realize is that I know his lies. So, I revoke my vow and tread lightly on this now. I look at him and I see two faces. One that urges and the other erases. Ripping me from the imagination that  was created. Finding out that I have been jaded. Now my heart beats but bleeds black. When I am gone he will realize that. 

Strange and Beautiful

Rayna's Theory

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